2 Kings: Kids at the Maul


Right after the passage where Elisha heals the water, he faces the biggest challenge of his life… teenagers. Elisha is simply walking along the road when suddenly he encounters a group of teens who start teasing him because he’s bald. I can imagine that with a big crowd of rowdy teens and all their nonstop threats of “Get out of here, baldy!”, it must have been difficult for Elisha to stay calm. Maybe he starts to get a little flustered, even panicked a bit because he is vastly outnumbered. Luckily, he pulls out his How to be an Old Testament Prophet (for Dummies) book and quickly pages through it. “OK… page 145, paragraph 3… ‘If you are being teased by a pack of teenagers make sure you a) overreact and b) use lots of violence’.” As he looks up from the book, the panic leaves his face, he stares at the teens and proclaims “It’s not enough that you like to read Twilight books and listen to crappy music, but now you have chosen to mess with a representative of Yahweh?! It’s on like Donkey Kong!” Mixing overreaction and violence with the creativity of a master artist, Elisha, like some kind of bizarro Dr. Dolittle, calls out two bears who maul 42 of the teenagers. Then he probably looked at the camera and said something like “I can’t BEAR to be teased.”


Museum-quality poster made on thick, archival, acid-free, matte paper. Ships in heavy duty cardboard mailing tube.

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